Sunday, December 17, 2006

Chairman of the Bored

Everyone has bloggs and I LURVES IT !!! Lets all welcome Haley to the world of bitching on the internet. That is all I use my blog for. Bitchin'.
Hey it's what I do. Don't try to change me.

Last night was Stu's work Christmas party. It was ok. I didn't win anything and the food wasn;t that great. But I fed his bosses dog like 4 dinner rolls and there was on open bar, of which I took full advantage.

The only thing that really bugged was they had some non-drinker as the bartender. While I have always been an advocate of drinking responsibly, you should atleast know the difference between rum and whiskey. Cause I am pretty sure that CROWN is not RUM, HELLO. But it is ok, because you know me. I just took over bartending and whipped up some Tom Collins. Which were a hit.

Then we almost died seven times coming down Parley's because it was a full on white out blizzard.

Today I am going to totally finish all of my Christmas shopping. Jealous ? I think so.

This is so boring. I am depressed. Nothing interesting has been happening.

Colie needs to stop hooking up with Alex. It isn't going to work. GIVE IT UP. He doesn't love you. Mr. Emo just likes to get it on. Has anyone noticed that everyone on the Real World some how contracts Multiple Personality Disorder. Lets examine the evidence: Moo Ja Star, Leroy Jenkins,Dark Kent, and Mr. Emo. Get these fuckers some help, like now. And don't even get me started on Paula. She don't got jokes, she got problems.

Well if something exciting happens to me I will let you know, but at the rate things have been going don't count on it.

p.s. I saw Nick Carter on E today, and he had steps. I am just saying.

Blank Blank Blank

Look at me postin' pictures......

Look at all these silly pictures from my vacation to Universal and Disneyland. A good time was had by most. I had a good time. F everyone else.

You like how I am keeping it clean for the kids. It's cause I care. Not really. I don't care.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Shame on Shamers Shaming Other Shames

So much to talk about so little to do.

The Dinner Date Night went spectacularly ! Making your own pizza is real easy when you buy all the stuf made and ust throw that shit together. Thats how we do. Alex's appetizers were dangerously delicious. I. Love. Illiteration. Morris also so brought tastiness in the form of Hummus and crackers with Rachael Rays silly face on the box. But I would have to say the big hit of the evening was the group sex with Mark Eaton. He was promiscuous. It isn't his fault ya'll.

He is hot and he knows it. Those short shorts and that sexy facial hair. Who could resist. Not Alex, nor Aaron. Matt did resist his urges but I could see that he wanted him bad. Wanted him like a cookie wants to be dipped in milk.

Finals are done and done. The semester is done and done. You would think that I would have all this extra time. Not. TRUE. Still no time. I am so so bizeeeee these days. I am just a go-go-going. Like any of you care anyways.

Can i continue to talk about a situation that has continued to bother me for the past few days. Lets talk hypothetically. So I have this "friend" she is getting married in June. She is fabulous by the way. Well my "friends" fiance's brother got engaged and is now getting married in the middle of July. You are thinking "oh that is really nice, they are getting married so close". Well stop thinking that asses. NOT NICE!

I have a confession, the friend, its really me. I can not tell a lie. The call me G. Dub.


Am I so wrong to be, well, devastated that someone is planning their wedding within 3 weeks of mine? Who the hell does that ?

'Lets just mosey on in and ruin lives because that's how we do. No one else can have anything special or nice because we are so much more important that everyone else.'

Thanks for not caring about anyone but your selfishness self-centered self loving self. self. self.

I am just sayin', RUDE. Anyways, I have been complaining about this for long enough. But It really does make me sad. Shame on Emo's.

Could someone please call Leroy Jenkins ? I need him to dish out a sweet ass kicking. I hear that is what he is about. I fell like Heidi has his number on speed dial.

ha ha ha, the examples for labels for this post are : scooters, vacation, fall. THCOOTERS !!!! I love scooters. They are so ferfessional.

p.s. I missed Heidi at Dinner Date. I feel like she wasn't working but having bathroom sex with Leroy Jenkins. I am not speculating. I know people.

Monday, December 4, 2006

The Roof The Roof The Roof is on Fire!

That right ya'll. I am burning through my homework faster that a skank at a fraternity party. Well not really. I kind of just told a lie. I wrote a 10 page paper and created a sweet presentation on the power point though. I still have lots to do. The Marriot Library gets creepsies at night. Wierdos be hanging out hurr. This one girl behind me apparently thinks that he constant farting is not a disturbance. Well I am here to tell you that it is. Thankfully she is packing up her pencil pouch and hopefully getting her stank ass the hell out of here.
Things that bothered me today: chubbs at the gym wearing only sports bras and no shirts, creeps at the gym walking past my head with thier short shorts all up in my grill when I am lifting weights, chatter box coffee makers at the library store... I just wanted this turkey sandwich can you converse with you beard later sir because it is obvious to me that you don't want to have sex with the womens, the guy in front of me who keeps clicking his freaking pen, and parking in pay parking because I am lazy and too tired to walk. The last one isn't my fault it is 23 degrees outside and that is far to cold to be trapsing around campus for free parking. I could get hypothermia and die.

Saturday, December 2, 2006

Since When Did Psycho's Learn to Read ?

"P-Slams, Pa-Salms, Pslams? How ever you say that, I like to read them. They teach ya how ta pray." Yes ladies and gentlemen this is the actual conversation taking place behind me at the library. Or as I have heard Ms. Pa-Salms say several times: Libary. She has basically blabbed her whole life story including her zodiac sign to thsi total stranger I am sure. Then they proceeded to exchange Jail-House stories. Apparently they have good zodiac signs and the psalms are really treating them right. If they start busting out snakes, I am definitley contacting animal control. AND If the god lovers arent annoying enough, there is some super nerd sitting in my periphial view making shapes with his hands and chattering about angles. Who the hell are these people ? And in the first 30 seconds I sat here I was accosted by a large Russian, who was pissed that I was not her Russian partner. SORRY. I don't speak Russian. Not my thing. But why do you go off on me because your stupid partner is late.

And now..... lets welcome the homeless possee that just parked it on the chairs int he corner. So much homework to much B.O. stank in the room. I am peacin' out of this crazy barn. Serves me right for coming here on a weekend.

Friday, December 1, 2006

Talkin' Bout Good News Good News

ha ha ha. sometimes when i try to increase my blog viewage I send an e-mail to my peeps giving them my URL. Try this on for size, bigger size. Apparently links to some sexy natural male enhancement pills. Hey hey ya'll, go a head and super size it.

According to Matt, the authority on Man parts, he says if you loose 35 pounds your Tom Johnson grows and inch. AND INCH. That is like drinking a Gatorade and being able to jump a mile. That is big deal. Tell everyone. And while your tellin people stuff, tell them that I hate Nelly Furtado for her fugly puffy onsie that she wore on So You Think You Can Dance. I know it was back in July, but I am not ready to forgive much less forget.

Also the U of U has these silly commercials with a fancy theme song. It goes something like "From the red rocks to the mountains" blah blah blah. They mixed it with a fast beat probably so the kids would like it. I feel like this blog could really take over my life. I want to blog it all the time. I just like talking. Conan O-Brien is talking about Briteny's Va-jay-jay. Conan is such a ginger. Who is he. Now they are singing a song about britneys "Who-Ha" as they call it. Britney's vag is about to go platinum ya'll. Well at least her kids can't read yet.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

God, everyone stop getting blogs.

This blog almost never came to be. Why ? Because every Tom, Dick and Jerk has already stolen the URL I wanted. Thing is, they probably don't even use the thing. I thought about typing each one in and then leaving rude comments to the theiving bitches about how I should have that URL because I want it and I will take care of it and put it to good use. But then I remembered that I have stuff to do and can't be interenet harassing peeps all damn day long.

I already love this blog. Now I can bitch out loud on the internet for everyone to see. However I fore see this getting my ass in trouble because there are people out there that I hate, and I am not afraid to blog about them. You know who you are. A certain copycat come to mind. And when they read this they will not be happy campers. (If anyone can even be happy camping) But I am just saying you better watch out, you better not pout,you better not cry, because Blogger Claus is coming to town.

I. Like. Blogs.