Thursday, August 7, 2008

Attention all gym patrons...

Could I ask you to do me a solid? Stop farting while you're working out. I know I know, that is a lot to ask. I mean to ask you to control your flatulence whilst running full steam ahead? That is ridiculous, right ? Well if you could just do this one little thing for me, I would really appreciate it.


The gym has recently been bought out by a national franchise. It didnt make any difference to me because our memberships carried over to the new club. Well, today was a big day. We got brand-spankin-new cardio equipment. BOO YEAH!

This new equipment is FAN-CEEEE. Each machine has it's own individual television attached that you can control. SWEET. No more fighting people for to watch Saved By The Bell.

Today I noticed the downside to these new fancy contraptions. When the TV's are off they work as in-your-face mirrors. Listen, I feel bad enough that other people have to see me at the gym. (I can only imagine the faces I'm pulling when I'm trying to get my fatass to go another 5 minutes on the elliptical. That combined with the faces I;m probably making due to the stink bombs being blown at me.)The last think I want to look at for an hour is my red,puffy, sweat logged face.

One gentleman was making good use of the TV/mirrors. He was able to position his so he could check out the ladies stretching behind him. Yeah. I saw you. PERV!

1 comment:

Lisa said...

I just received a new book called "The Big Book of Boy Stuff" or something like that... Anyway, they had a lovely list of terms for flatulence. Since it is a frequent topic in your life, I thought I'd share my favorite one - since it sounds a bit more feminine and dainty and , well... classy. Anyway, feel free to use it: "The wind beneath my wings".

BTW Rock on with your bad self going to the gym all of the time!!! What is up with the sistas getting all healthy and stuff - - ugh!!! I better jump on board or the next family affair is going to be embarrassing... I'll be drooling down my double chin at your hot bods!!!