Tuesday, February 3, 2009

What's on the menu ?

I have a strict blogging policy: Don't blog about work. I don;t wanna get Dooced. I am breaking it today to talk about something that has become a serious issue.

The Stinky Lunch Bandit.
You know who you are. You are the guy who makes some horrendous concoction in your home kitchen. Some secret family recipe with two whole onions, four cloves of garlic, tuna fish, curry powder, fish sauce, broccoli, and every other stinky food item you own. Then, because you love this home made delicacy SO MUCH, you pack it up in a tidy tupperware and bring it in to work. Then you do the unthinkable; You microwave it.

The once delicious flavor-fest from your kitchen has now turned into Stinkfest '09 on our break room. Please, I am begging, PLEASE stop. Just bring a turkey sandwich like everyone else. Hell, have tuna. I don't care. JUST DON'T MICROWAVE IT. I'm gonna forgive you this one last time. If you bring another lunch that's odor is reminiscant of a dead animal, I will find you.

I will track you down like a blood hound and spray a bottle of Fabreeze all over your stank-lunch. I mean, it's really only fair.

In lieu of this rash action, I found this helpful website. Personally, I like tips 3, 4, and 5.

5 comments:

T apostrophe Ann said...

Me & Ty are cracking up reading this post!!! Here is another tip..... steal the damn thing from the fridge - open the container of stink - place it in the ceiling of their office hidden to mold and teach them a lesson! Or you could take the container and replace the food with a good ol' bunny turd.

TheKillerJ said...

I have a confession. That guy is me. I get all kinds of complaints for cooking fish in the microwave! It's great.

I usually laugh close to their face, making sure to exhale vigorously through my fish caked mouth. I love being THAT guy!

Jessica said...

I loathe thee Fish Mouth.

Lisa said...

Maybe you are pregnant! I couldn't go anywhere near the microwave hell that was our faculty room when I was prego with Fischer.
I'm just sayin'...

Jessica said...

LISA ! Don't you even GO THERE!!!!!